Nicole Kelner
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Mental Health 101

3/12/2020

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How to start a mental health routine 
  • Daily meditation practice: I recommend 10-20 minutes a day. Here are a few of my favorite techniques:
    • Plum Village mediation app: Fully free meditation app run by the Thich Nhat Hanh Monastery. Simple guided meditations by the monks and nuns. The most simple meditation I recommend is "Breathing in, I know I'm breathing in. Breathing out, I know I'm breathing out."
    • Insight Timer: Some of my favorite teachers are Tara Brach, Jack Kornfield, Sarah Blondin, Bree Mendelson, and Thich Nhat Hanh
    • DIY Transcendental Meditation. I usually just use the mantra “OM.”
    • Loving-Kindness meditation: “May all beings far and near, all beings young and old, beings in every direction, be held in great loving-kindness. May they be safe and protected. May they be healthy and strong. May they be truly happy.” AKA Metta Mantra. ​
  • Embodiment work: feelings get stuck in our body. Dance, sing, chant, laugh, cry just let those feels move through. 
    • Alexandra Roxo embodiment practice on Insight Timer. 
    • The Body Keeps Score 
    • Alexander Technique
    • 5Rhythms or Ecstatic Dance 
  • Exercise: minimum 30 minutes walking a day. Ideally a high-intensity aerobic exercise 3x a week that feels fun. Swimming is my favorite, I run if I don’t have access to a pool 
  • Have a hobby or creative outlet: I use watercolors, writing, and drawing as my form of creative expression 
  • ​Food is medicine: When I eat healthy, I feel like I am sending the message to my body that I care for it and will treat it with love and respect. 
  • Check my “warpy” thoughts with Cognitive Behavior Therapy or Acceptance Commitment Therapy.
    • Moodnotes app. $4 app that allows me to reflect on my thoughts 
    • ACT Companion app. Not pretty, but very useful. 
  • Get into nature: enough said. 
  • Community support: Having a few friends or family I can check in with when I'm feeling stuck. 
  • Consistent sleep routine: I get a lot of sleep. 8-9 hours on average is what feels good for my body (probably because I don’t drink caffeine).
  • External support: therapy, coaching, transformational work, etc. I think when used as a compliment to the above, talk therapy can be very helpful but finding the right therapist is tricky. I like to ask if they do Narrative Therapy or CBT, I find these are helpful filters for finding a great therapist. 


Little things to remember when I'm anxious
  • “I notice that I'm having the thought that...”: A great reminder that I am not my thoughts. I am the observer of my thoughts. 
    • Recommended reading: Untethered Soul  
  • Playful defusion: the idea that we can imagine our scary or stressful thoughts in a silly way. Imagine them being narrated by donald duck or spelling them out in crayons. 
    • Recommended reading: Anything Russ Harris on Acceptance Commitment Therapy. This link describes playful defusion specifically. 
  • ​​Tong Len Practice: A very deep buddhist practice. A reverse of the metta mantra. Breathing in pain, breathing out relief for those suffering. I love this because I often try to resist pain, this practice helps me integrate it and just allow it to be a passing human experience. 
    • Recommended Reading: How to do a Tong Len practice by Pema Chodron 
  • “Her secret is patience”: A George Bernard Shaw quote referring to nature. It reminds me that calms me down and reminds me to look into the natural world to slow down. 
  • “My only job is to…”: This is a game I made up for myself that breaks down life into moment to moment experiences. I would say “Ok, my only job is to get out of bed.” And keep going throughout the day when I would get overwhelmed with how much I felt like I needed to do or figure out. 
  • What else could this mean? This is a practice from Cognitive Behavior Therapy to question the current thought I am having. It helps view life from a less black and white lens and imagine other possibilities. 
  • Leaves on a stream: Imagine a stream with leaves floating down it. Everytime I feel a worry coming on, imagine placing it on a leaf and it drifting down the stream.  
  • “Neutral space is where god lives”: A quote I heard during a buddhist + jewish meditation retreat. Appreciating the mundane and little moments. We are trained to love the highs and hate the lows. A reminder to find beauty in the neutral. 
  • “Have you ever commanded the dawn?” An Elizabeth Gilbert quote I adore. It reminds me that I am not in control of everything on this earth. That I don’t need to try to plan and calculate everything.  
  • I am not the main character in my life: A friendly buddhist reminder. 
  • Who is aware of the darkness? When things get dark and stormy to remember that even when darkness comes into my mind, I can observe it. I am not the darkness. It will pass 
  • “I like to hang out with people who don’t take life too seriously:” A quote from my friend Jonathan. This helped snap me out of some major overthinking and look for more laughter and lightness. ​
  • I belong to the community of the universe: A quote from The Courage to Be Disliked. Imagining that I always belong, even if I don’t have a direct community near me. The community can be the world and I am certainly a member of it. 
    • Recommended reading: The Courage to Be Disliked. 
  • “The things I worried about the most never happened”: a quote from my dad. A reminder that anxiety is rarely rooted in reality. 
  • What if you’re doing everything right: A nice counter-thought to check the mean voice that runs through my brain sometimes, similar to CBT practices. 
  • This moment is the perfect teacher: A quote from Pema Chodron. I love this one so much. Trusting that whatever is appearing in your world is hand-delivering a message for you. It may not always be easy, but it will make sense in the future. 
    • Recommended reading: When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron 
  • “Loneliness as a complete discipline:” More brilliance from Pema. 
    • Recommended reading: Cool Loneliness by Pema Chodron 
  • “You have survived 100% of your worst days”: Sah D’Simone. A beautiful way of zooming out and remembering this too shall pass. 
  • “You don’t have to try so hard”: A quote from my Alexander Teacher, Rebecca Poole. I used to hold my body so tight, and she would constantly have to remind me to let go and not try so hard. 
  • “Do everything as if it were the only thing in the world that mattered, while all the time knowing that it doesn't matter at all:” Do you think there are too many Pema quotes? I don’t.
1 Comment
harshal
4/2/2020 10:31:07 am

Hi Nicole,

Such a comprehensive and instructive list, thanks for sharing and keeping it real :) Was wondering if you still try to find a therapist for standby or just focus on self-correction via friends, books, blogs, apps and so on. I tried a few sessions when I was at college, they had like 10 sessions a year didn't find it super effective or thought I needed an external intervention. Also, what are your thoughts on work-life balance it feels at times career ambitions can get in the way of self-care/mental health especially as a recent college grad.

Cheers, Harshal

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